Katherine Smith

glorious_spoon, posting in fanficrants @ 11:39pm: Girls=/=suck
Two posts in one day, I'm on a roll...

Anyway, you know what would be really great? If genderswap fics could stop talking about the female body as a downgrade. Because it seems like lately every single m-f genderswap fic I read goes on in great, loving detail about how hot our hero is now that he's a heroine, and then goes on in equally loving detail about how s/he is now small, fragile, weak and slow. And delicate. And did I mention pretty? And weak? And SMALL?!

Newsflash.

Women are on average shorter than men. That does not mean that all of us are tiny; it just means that we're not going to be as tall as a guy with a similar genetic background. So, if a tall muscular guy got turned into a woman, s/he'd still be a pretty tall, muscular woman. Probably not over 6', no, but probably not under 5'2", either. For example, I come from a tall family. My brothers and father are all over six feet tall, broad-shouldered and muscular. I, obviously, am shorter than them, but you know what? I'm still tall, broad-shouldered, and muscular for a woman.

I get that this is genderswap and obviously outside the bounds of modern medical purview, but there's making up your own rules, and then there's using 'female' as a shorthand for 'instantly useless in a fight'.

Women have approximately 50% less upper-body strength than men. The difference in leg strength is negligible, and largely due to the difference in size. We tend to be slower in a sprint, as well, and we're more likely to blister and bruise. (It's worth noting, though that up to a certain point, speed and strength have a lot to do with working out, and a guy who's in peak physical condition is not going to turn into a woman who can't open a pickle jar on her own. Cute as you might think it is).

However. Women are considerably more flexible and dexterous, have better balance, and can sustain effort at maximum capacity for longer. We're much less likely to go into shock and die after sustaining severe physical trauma. Oh, and we can survive starvation, dehydration, and oxygen deprivation for longer, too. We're not a poor second to men, we're just a different freaking design. So it would be really fucking awesome if people writing genderswap stories could stop talking about half the human race like we're a bunch of helpless ornaments.

tl;dr: Just once, I want to see a genderswap story that has the protagonist being pleasantly surprised about some aspect of being female that doesn't involve sex. I mean, seriously, what the hell is the point of writing a subversive concept if you're just going to use it to underscore the same old tired sexist bullshit?

steshin @ 12:12pm: Whoa! Nostalgia *u*
Man, I love this song.

fairest1, posting in fanficrants @ 10:53pm: The other day, while browsing the Pit, I noticed that there was a section for Big Wolf On Campus. I cheered, as I'd considered it a cheesy but fun werewolf sitcom that few had heard of, right up there with Dead Last. So I decided to browse a bit.

Most of it seems to be slash, which didn't really deter me -- the buddy dynamic could be developed easily enough.

But what threw me off was the fact that most of the fics seemed to entirely ignore the entire aspect of the show that involved werewolves and the paranormal. Given that it was a monster-of-the-week type of show and half the main pairing was a werewolf, this is rather confusing.

It's like reading a story from the HP section that leaves you needing to check that no, it wasn't labeled as a non-magic AU.

immortal_jedi, posting in fanficrants @ 6:25pm: Suspicious? Why yes!
Listen. Sam and Dean Winchester are both paranoid. Now, granted, they have every right to be, considering their lives.

They have demons after them. In the time period that your story was written and posted, dear author, they had the FBI after them- and probably a laundry list of other alphabet soup agencies. Late season two Winchesters would not head straight for the NCIS labs, just because they got a phone call from their deceased father.

They'd be a lot smarter then that. If they didn't blow it off- because they might just think it was either a trap by the YED, or possibly the FBI- they'd be very careful. They might approach the character they wanted to talk to somewhere away from work.

They'd also plan their aliases a lot better.

Note: This story was written and posted several months before Long Distance Phone Call aired.

In summary: Sam and Dean know they've got a lot of people and creatures after them. They wouldn't walk right into a potential trap without some sort of plan.

cynicalshadows, posting in fanficrants @ 5:55pm: Dear Fic Writer,

Feedback on your stories is usually given by other people, not yourself. However, if you are going to leave a glowing review for your own lackluster story since nobody else is impressed with the mediocrity, you might want to make sure you are posting the comment anonymously so you don't look like a fuckwit.

XOXO,

Me

angelofcaffeine, posting in fanficrants @ 12:35am: Characterisation.

 

I really, really can't see Spock saying "who the Hell". Just... no.

Edit: Unless, of course, they like you very much but they are not the Hell your whales. XD

glorious_spoon, posting in fanficrants @ 7:16pm: Sex=/=Angst
You know what? Some people just like sex.

Seriously. Not every promiscuous character on the planet sleeps around to hide the angst in their emo little heart. Not all of them are going to give up their wicked ways and become wholesome and virtuous (and straight. and vanilla) if their emotional issues are resolved.

I'm not saying that it's always healthy, but when you have a outgoing character who likes to get laid a lot, you may want to consider the fact that's just the way he/she is. Not all non-normative sexual practices are illnesses that need to be cured. Sometimes horny is just horny.

This rant is brought to you by Jack Sparrow, Jack Harkness, Catherine Willows, Dean Winchester, Kaylee Frye, and the letter Q.

Thank you.

kiwipunch, posting in fanficrants @ 10:35am: Dear Glee fanfic writer,

...since when was Kurt ever happy-go-lucky?

 Dear certain Reborn! fanfic writer,

I was excited to see your story - after all, it's rare that fanfic writers explore Tsuna's love for Kyoko before he moves on to love a different person.Tsuna's feelings are normally handwaved away or forgotten about completely, so it was good to see someone exploring it and writing it out before putting Tsuna together with another character. 

Then you had Kyoko cheat on Tsuna with a random guy - several random guys if I read correctly just because she could. Sasagawa Kyoko of all people. Barely a month into a relationship. Just so Tsuna could get his heartbroken and run off to some other guy's waiting arms. 
...what.

Okay, so you wanted Tsuna to get with the other character. But, having Kyoko cheat on Tsuna to pave the way for the pairing? Absolute FAIL.
Kyoko as one of the sweetest characters in the series would never do that. There are plenty of other reasons for Kyoko and Tsuna to break up(perhaps Kyoko was sick of being kept in the dark despite being involved with Tsuna and knowing about the mafia or they just plain fell out of love because the spark was gone or they realized they didn't have much in common) - you don't need to demonize Kyoko in order to do so.

Just so very disappointed,

Me.

chemikalien, posting in fanficrants @ 6:02pm: Legality.
Okay, so I ship Holmes/Watson to no end, as does most (if not all) of this quaint little fandom. And as much as I enjoy my smutty little fanfics, there is one huge GLARING issue I'm tracking.

Homosexuality was a crime in the UK during our setting of the late 1800s. Like, as in, "we caught you doing naughty things to this other man, we're going to send you to prision nao" illegal. The death penalty wasn't the punishment at this point, but still illegal.

So Holmes and Watson making out in the streets of London? No. Remembering your setting? Yes.

shiegra, posting in fanficrants @ 2:42pm: One trope I am exceedingly tired of is treatment of stoic or undemonstrative characters.

Firstly: in fiction. With women, it usually leads to loud cries of 'flat', 'wooden' and 'bland' and 'uninteresting.' With men--if they're hot--it generally leads to fandom-wide speculations and fanfiction on what hidden emotional depths and sappiness he may have. Also vice versa, but a little more rare in my personal experience.

Some people? Are just not that damn expressive. I think the media must have imbued this ridiculous assumption that gushing, over-dramatic displays are the only natural way to display emotion. Youko Kurama, just off the top of my head, is not likely to be hiding a secretly sappy, lurid heart. He is, you know, actually a quiet, composed person. His displays of anger are quiet and controlled. His displays of affection are often subtle.

It's not a damn front, it's not a shield, (not for all characters, anyway, and when it is, it's usually indicated in canon) it doesn't make them 'cardboard' because they don't scream and shout with every passing mood. Just like real people, you should pick up cues from what you hear and what you're told about expressions and body language. Characters that show, don't tell--like, you know, real people do--are not emotionless. They're realistic. Especially since every character that I've ever seen this leveled at has displayed a full spectrum of emotion in canon.

End rant.

di_glossia, posting in fanficrants @ 5:16pm: Het Rape Reviewer

Please stop telling me you hope to read heterosexual rape in my stories. I don't know where you got the idea that I might ever write rape since I don't have any posted fics with rape in them. It's just not something I'm interested in writing about. I already explained to you why there's so little rape and het in the fandom months ago. It wouldn't be as big of a problem if you actually asked me to write you a het rapefic but you haven't, you've just told me that you "pray for rape and het" and "liked the story even though it had no rape". You might as well tell me you're disappointed that I didn't write about submarines.

TL;DR: I don't know where you got your expectations but I don't write rape, het or otherwise.

wheeloffortune, posting in topmodel @ 9:59am: Tyra Ditches Her Talkshow For...
Tyra says au revoir to her talk show to pursue her new passion...film production.

"My next huge steps will allow me to reach more women and young girls to help us all feel as fierce as we truly are," Tyra said.

So, how about a game? What do you think the name of Tyra's first film will be? I'm gonna guess "Kiss My Fat Ass!" about a full-figured girl who overcomes stereotyping and humiliation (even though the actress will be a size 8) to become a supermodel. Cause like, that's so real y'all!

chasingtides, posting in fanficrants @ 2:09pm: John Winchester would not be posting videos to the internet in 1990, nor would he be social networking on the internet and talking about his sons with people he doesn't know (in 1990 or otherwise).

lothy, posting in fanficrants @ 4:22pm: For goodness' sake
While this rant was inspired by a specific email I've just read, it really applies to a whole host of emails I've received over the past few years:

I am not your personal ficfinding resource!

Yes, I have created lots of fandom resources over the years, which I hope are useful to people in finding fics to read. I've made thematic lists of fanfiction, a directory of rec lists, guides to specific fandoms, and most crucially, a list of places to ficsearch and guide to using them.

I did not ask to become one of those places myself!

The latest email said, and I quote:

I wish I could link you to this fic but I don't know what it's called.
I thought I'd mention it to you in case you also knew of it and could
remember different things to me to help us find it?

Harry had wings, was living temporarily in the Muggle world with
Remus. Death Eaters attacked a church and Harry fought them - the
churchgoers outside seeing and recording him. The muggles started
wondering if he was an angel and after the battle Harry was in legal
trouble for the exposure.

Sound familiar at all?

This kind of email is not unfamiliar. I've had them before. All from complete strangers, all asking if I've heard of specific fics (which, by the way, I haven't). Most were less polite than this one (at least this person tried to make it sound like they were helping me find a fic I might want...) (Edited to add: I probably wouldn't find it irritating if it was just the email above in question: it's the accumulation of so many such emails, not all so polite, that makes me overreact a little when I see a new one.)

Why on earth would they do that? Why would they think "I can't find this fic - let's email the owner of a list which does not actually include it and ask them to find it for me"?

The other variant is "your link to this fic doesn't work, do you have another one?" At least that one I can kind of understand since I evidently have heard of the story; but still, how am I supposed to know every alternate link to a story I didn't write, which has been taken off a website? Helpful "do you know your link doesn't work?" emails are fine, but not so much ones that are clearly begging to have me find the story for them.

I've also had "do you know a ficfinding community for X fandom?" emails. No, no I don't. If I did, then it would already be on the list.

I generally just send back a polite email saying no, I've never heard of it, and directing the person to a relevant ficsearching community; but I wish ranting at them would make them stop. Unfortunately, it's different people every time.

abarero @ 4:20am: Friends Cut
I normally never do this sort of friends cut, but my friendslist is just getting too massive for me to keep up on and whatnot. So, I trimmed some people I just never felt I ever connected with. If you were removed, it was seriously nothing personal, but was probably because 1) we never really connected or had much in common, 2) your journal seems dead, 3) we seem to have lost touch, or 4) we never seemed to comment in each others' journals at all.

If I've removed you, please remove me too. However if you feel I've made a mistake (which is possible since it's late and I'm drugged up on pain killer) or you'd like to give it another try, feel free to reply again to my friends only post.

Thanks!

(also, for anyone who would like a free pass to leave for any reason, feel free to defriend me at this time too.)

philstar22, posting in fanficrants @ 10:59am: Dear NCIS fanfic writers,

I'm glad that you found your ship in Kate/Ari. It isn't my cup of tea, but to each their own. However, can you at least try to remember the events of canon. Ari was a pretty evil guy. Remember the part where he killed her. So, please stop with the romance fics where he really loved her and wasn't evil after all. You'd think if you liked the character, you'd be interested in keeping him in character.

Also, stop with the fics where they are both secretly alive. It is one thing to write an AU where their deaths never happened. When you are claiming your fics are canon, though, it doesn't work. Both of them died in front of people who knew them well enough that they would know if the dead person was really someone else. Kate was shot in the head, and clearly died from the wound, right in front of Gibbs and Tony. Ari was shot by his half-sister, Ziva. Therefore, your fics do not work. Please try again.

Just wanted to read some good Kate-centric fic,
Me

nekokonneko, posting in fanficrants @ 4:48am: The OOCness of Suzumiya Haruhi
As a long time reader of fic, I have (mostly) made my peace with certain tropes and cliches that reuse to die. OOCness though I cannot forgive. Playing around with alternate characterisation- that's okay. Plot-induced character development which causes the character(s) to not resemble canon counterparts- that's cool. Outright OOCness- no. Haruhi wants Kyon; both the she and the series have made that clear. It has also been made clear that Haruhi is the jeaous type. Hell, Kyon engaging in a bit of mild flirting with Mikuru was enough to push her over the edge and cause her to come dangerously close to destroying and re-creating the world from scratch (with Kyon being the only person from the original world that she wanted with her). Thus, without serious character development, there is no way that Kyon could openly be in a relationship with someone else without so much as a glare, let alone Haruhi actively engaging in hooking them up. No development, explnation, or even a half-hearted handwave....? No dice.

writinchica2k, posting in fanficrants @ 9:33am: Maybe I'm a secret prude, but...
...even if it's drabble-sized and/or written as crack, watersports reeeeally needs to go under a cut :/ And yes, there was a warning, but still...

twistedsheets10, posting in fanficrants @ 5:22pm: I can't take it anymore!
 
Please, please, please, stop using the word "pre-sperm". I can deal with precome/precum, but pre-sperm? It just sounds so...clinical. 

/shot

neptune47 @ 5:27pm: [Art] Merlin - ...And Time
Title: ...And Time
Type: Art
Pairing: Arthur/Guinevere
Rating: PG-13, for implied sexual situations (nothing explicit, but some might consider it Not Safe For Work)

For crayford, who wanted something based on the book The Time Traveler's Wife, featuring Gwen from present-day "Merlin" and King Arthur from the future.


( Click )

shenniefish, posting in fanficrants @ 6:42pm: If you have to warn for OOC, you're doing it wrong.

helen_damnation, posting in fanficrants @ 12:52am: The problem with phonetic accents (other than being difficult to read) is that they are all exactly the same. A Cockney accent is spelled the same way as a Southern American accent is spelled the same way as a pirate's accent. It's all very confusing.

An argument can be made for its use in written canons; if done well, differing speech patterns can help with characterisation (though it is not, in and of itself, characterisation) but in fanfic of visual and audio canons it's distracting and makes it difficult (for me, at least) to call up the character's actual voice, because I'm too busy sounding out the often-wrong phonetics.

ansela_jonla, posting in fanficrants @ 11:56pm: How do I attract these crazies?
A comment I received today on my archive post... (bold is me)

You'r a good writer. Thank you Why do you waste you'r time writing stupid and plotless sex fics? Because I like writing smut. And they're not completely plotless, thank you very much. They'r just pointless and uncharacterized pieces of trash that you probably wank to while writing. People seem to like those 'pointless' fics, and I'm sure if they were OOC someone (like my beautiful characterisation expert) would have told me so by now. Put you'r dick down Can't. Don't have one.: You could spend you'r time more productivly writing decent long fics with a proper plot and characterization. Why the capital after the colon? Is that an American English thing? And if you bothered to look at the archive post you just commented on, you'd see that I do have a plotty, chaptered WIP with absolutely no smut warnings on.

You'r spelling is atrocius though. Pot. Kettle. Black Why dpo you put so many u's and s's in you'r fics? Er... because they're necessary. Because that's the way I spell. Because I write out names like Toushirou and Jyuushirou in the long form. What do you think you are, English? Yes, actually, I am English. Fandom belongs to Americans, idiot. That's the first I heard of it.

Stop wasting you'r time with crappy Japanese cartoons and comics as well. Oh, so now you're telling me what to write. Sorry, but I'll stay in anime and manga fandoms, thank you very much. They'r all about sex, sex, tentacle rape and sex. Someone's only seen hentai or heard the Fundie arguments against Japanese entertainment. They'r boring, pointless and unAmerican. That's your opinion, pal. And if they're so 'unAmerican', why do some series' get dubbed or translated? Answer me that! I see you like Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis. So what? Write more for them and abandom the Japanese crap, and that Harry Potter trash as well. I've written a total of three stories for the Stargateverse that I've stuck on my fic journal, and I have no intention to write more. I like my current fandoms, and have no intention of leaving them right now. English writers can't do anything right. So Tolkien, Philip Pullman, Charles Dickens, Catherine Cookson, the Brontë sisters, Shakespeare, Terry Pratchett and Brian Jacques are all awful writers then? Good to know. I'll avoid them from now on. /sarcasm.

o0o_faor_o0o, posting in fanficrants @ 6:14pm: Thanks for the Spam?
Dear you (and you and you?),

Thanks for reviewing! Honestly, the ship is big but not too big, I'm relatively unknown over at the Pit, and the kink I wrote for this particular fiction was breathplay (which is a kink avoided by a lot of people). So, you don't have an account, and left an anon message; but whatever. I don't judge you (that hard); leaving an anon message never bothered me.

But the thing is, I got three anon messages, all "16 hours ago" for the same one-shot. They read:

1) G[...]: so exciting, kakashi  was captain, it`s so interesting. don`t you want to continue?
2) Se[...]: wow, kakashi and iruka "pirate" !? that`s amazing, but no sequel?
3) Sa[...]: oh it`s so HOT, hot couple. i hope you will continue and write a sequel for this, please.

Um, unless the world is playing tricks on me, this all sounds a lot alike. Now, I appreciate your love and support and hell, I was thinking about a sequel, but I do not appreciate a troll. Nor do I appreciate wank. I do not appreciate your "gentle insistence" for a sequel because your underhanded OMG-HAWT-THX is the kind of stuff that wtf is made of. I now blame you for the delay to any further work I had planned on doing.

frostedpopcorn, posting in fanficrants @ 11:00pm: Hypocrisy, much?
Dear HP fandom,

( A D/Hr shipping rant.. )